IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT part 2 essay

IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT essay

Finding one’s place in life

 Proceeding with the research, there should be given some more examples concerning the education of black people on the basis of my personal experience. I was at the schools for a total of six years, and after that first year I put on other hats than just being the policeman. I worked closely with the school counselor, school social worker, and school psychologist.  I was content with my police career with helping others, but the school psychologist insisted I return to college and get my bachelors degree and pursue a career in counseling.

The school psychologist told me he had been observing my interactions with students and parents during times of crisis, and he felt that I would be a good counselor.  I was appreciative of the compliment, but I was content with my current career. The next school year, the school psychologist approached me again after we had completed an interview with a parent. He reiterated his thoughts of me returning to school and getting a degree in psychology. He told me that there was a high demand for black counselors especially males, and felt I needed to really consider a change in professions.

Stereotypes connected to black males who are born in America have to be overcome. Among these stereotypes are the presumptions that black males are violent, loud, and lazy freeloaders, etc. This is why I have a specific interest in creating the opportunity for adolescent black males to advance.  I mentioned I was raised by a single mother a majority of my life; however, for a couple years I was able to be influenced by a person whom I consider my step-father. He is no longer alive but he did instill in my mind that young black males have to work hard and save money but the worldview is that whites are superior to blacks.

False superiority of white population and civil rights of blacks

The notion of whites feeling that they are superior to blacks was as upheld by my mother. My mother was raised in Mississippi and lived through the time of slavery. I recall my mother telling me stories of the Klu Klux Klan killing black men for no reason, but society accepted this as the norm. My mother currently has white friends but she made it clear to me and my brothers that she did not want a white person in her family.  Later in life, I married a Caucasian woman and my mother had a hard time dealing with it because of her past experiences. I respected my mother’s opinion but at the same time I tried to show her how time had changed, and that interracial dating has increased. My mother indicated that in the South, my wife would be considered “white trash”.

My mother shared the story of Emmit Till with me. Emmitt Till was a black male who was from Chicago Illinois but visiting relatives in Money Mississippi. It was reported that 14 year old Emmitt whistled and flirted with a white woman, Carolyn Bryant, in a small convenience store while in Mississippi. Carolyn was the owner of the store and she reported Emmitt Till’s actions to her husband. Carolyn’s husband and his brother-in-law abducted Emmitt Till from his family’s house. They took him to a barn, beat him and gouged out one of his eyes, before shooting him through the head and disposing of his body in the Tallahatchie River. They weighted his body down by tied a 70 pound cotton gin fan around Emmitt Till’s neck with barbwire. Till’s body was returned to Chicago and his mother, Mamie Till, requested that the casket remain open, so others could see what racism in America looked like, which brought up questions on civil rights for those in Mississippi. Those responsible for Till’s murder were tried in the court of law and found not guilty, but they later admitted publicly to the crime (Wall, 2012). My mother stated although interracial dating may seem to be socially acceptable this type of racism still exist

The brutal murder of innocent Emmitt Till in Money, Mississippi a generation ago was so horrific that it galvanized national and international media attention and became pivotal in mobilizing the civil rights movement. Not only were the perpetrators acquitted, but they also sold their story to a popular magazine after the trial, in which they boldly described their crime of torture with legal immunity. They were as safe in their egregious actions as the precedent setting plantation slave owners before them (Wall, 2012).

Today’s version of murder and legal immunity appears with the automatic, police response to the fatal shooting of unarmed, seventeen-year-old Trayvon Martin as self-defense. The uproar over the failure to arrest the confessed killer and to fully investigate Trayvon Martin’s death has underscored the institutional resistance to justice and an entrenched orientation that is not uncommon in “post-racial” America as long as you play by the rules. The rules today require you always to denounce racism, to blame the victim and to allow the tenor of murder to teach the subtle lesson of role and place. Emmett Till should have known his place and not whistled at a white woman; Trayvon Martin should not have worn a hoodie. Racist conditioning provides the prism through which deadly force is embraced as a right and a subtle instrument of control. African American male youth are oblivious to the conditioning process of racial (Wall, 2012).

Racism in modern society

 My mother told me that although history is changing, racism still exists. The Southern white person will be straight forward with minorities about their dislike for them, while the Northern white person will hide behind their power and pretend to be your friend while they back stab you at the same time.

My wife and I have been married for sixteen years, and we have three children in common. My mother and my in-laws have never stepped foot into one another’s house. They will attend their grandchildren’s birthday party and come to their sporting events, but a few words are exchanged between the two. My mother believes my in-laws express an arrogance of superiority plus, my mother recalls the words said to her by my in-laws just before my wife and I married.

Inequality and resistance between white and black communities

My wife and my in-laws are from a small rural town called Dakota Illinois. Dakota is a farming community that was not used to interacting with blacks. The school system had one black student and the rest were Caucasian students. I met my wife, Kara, through a mutual friend. I lived alone and was conducting a Bible study at my house when a female friend stopped by with another girl, Kara. Both girls joined in on the Bible study and after it was finished we discussed our different views on religion. Kara was intrigued that I was reading the Bible, because she also had a religious background which differed from mine. Kara repeatedly would show up at my house with our mutual friend.  I tried to set Kara up with the drummer at my church. The drummer was Causation just like Kara. They went on one date and decided that one date was good.

Kara and I eventually started dating but she had to hide it from her parents. One day Kara’s mother arrived at my house while Kara was there. The front door was open but the screen door was locked. I told Kara the person at the door was yelling her name. Kara looked out and seen that it was her mother. Kara was a high school senior and was scared to go to the door and speak with her mother. Kara went home right after her mother left my house. Kara told her parents that we were dating. Kara’s parents told her that she had to break up with me. Kara called me in the presence of her parents and broke up with me.  Kara later called me and told me that her parents had forced her to call me and break up. Kara wanted me to know that she wasn’t going to break up with me and that if she could not come to my house with her parent’s consent then she would sneak over.

Kara called me the next day and stated her parents heard her talking with me over the telephone. Kara’s parents wanted to know why Kara was defying them, and were Kara still a virgin.  Kara was still a virgin as we had not had sex, because she wanted to wait until she was married.  Kara’s parents gave her ultimatums to either really break up with me or move out of their house. Kara asked if she could stay with me and if I could come and pick her up.  Kara chose our relationship over her family; therefore, Kara was kicked out of the house and her parents took her car and sold it to one of Kara’s friends. Kara’s parents informed my mother that as long as I was black I would never be able to step foot into their house. It has been about nineteen years since that statement was said, but to my mother it was like it was said yesterday.

Kara’s parents did not come to our marriage they did not want to give their daughter away to a black man plus, lose her virginity to a black man. I believe it was the stereotype of the black man which kept them from knowing “me”. I was able to show them that I could fulfill my responsibility as a husband and provide for my family without their assistance. Kara’s parents realized that they would not be a part of their only daughter’s life or their grandchildren’s lives. Kara became pregnant with our oldest son who is now fourteen years old. Kara called her mother to get family history in order to be able to tell the doctor. Kara’s mother reached out and asked to be a part of our lives. She attended birthing classes with us. We discussed our hurts that we had caused one another, and Kara’s mother was the pillar that caused the rest of the family to change their view. I hear the “I’m sorry” but I don’t know if I really accept it.

Writing this paper has brought back so many unpleasant memories that are causing tears to flow down my eyes. The question I’m thinking right now is “why does racism still exist”? A majority of the functions I attend with my in-laws I’m the only black person present. I’m introduced as “this is my son in-law he is a police officer”. Why can’t it just be “this is my son in-law LaMont”? My thought process says that my in-laws feel obligated to introduce me as a police officer, because otherwise the person I’m being introduced to is just seeing a big black man who they already have a stereotype about; however, by saying that I’m a police officer I must be an exception to the stereotype.

IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT part 3 essay

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